giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
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How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
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I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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