she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
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He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
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This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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