I am full of burrito and curiosity
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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