There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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