I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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