In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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