Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
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Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
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You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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