Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize