All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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