She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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