im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
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Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
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God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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