Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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