I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize