filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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