You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Blood and glitter go together right?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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