I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
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I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize