i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize