Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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