yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize