you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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