My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize