i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize