my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize