Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize