i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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