Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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