So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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