she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
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We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
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I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
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