I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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