I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize