Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
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Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
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"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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