dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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