I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize