I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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