Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
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Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
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I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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