he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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