I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
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One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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