I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize