My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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