How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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