I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
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It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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