Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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