He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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