I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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