woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize