I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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