..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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