I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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