She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize