ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize